As a continuation from the last post I’ll just be brief and say that I requested a new oncologist and was granted a gem of a doctor. She is wonderful. On our first meeting she was examining me and began telling me that I would need to have a colonoscopy when I turn 45…then 55…then 65…then 75 and at that point the doctor will tell me I am too old to have any more colonoscopies. She gave me a side hug and continued her exam. I didn’t understand what she was saying at the time. I remembered thinking, yes, I’m a nurse. I know the screening guidelines. It only hit me afterwards that she was saying I was going to live…a good long time. Even now as I think about it I cry. If you’re ever in my position make sure your doctor believes in you. It makes all the difference in the world.

I fought to have a chance at an aggressive treatment plan and I got it. I’ve had two dose dense infusions of adriamycin/cytoxan. It. Does. Me. In. I nap two to three times a day for the first four days. Thankfully drugs for nausea have come a long way and that’s not an issue for me thanks to the anti-nausea meds I’m on. Food doesn’t taste very good. The foods that taste the best are comfort bland foods like mashed potatoes and rice. The chemo attacks rapidly dividing cells, so the gastrointestinal tract is a major target. My poor tongue is very beat up and my throat gets hoarse after my infusions. The nurses told me to take a supplement L-Lysine and I do. I think it helps, but it took me a second to learn not to eat foods that will burn my tongue such as excessive rough/salty foods and spicy foods.

One thing cancer has brought me has been a village of people willing to love and support me. I’m incredibly humbled for friends and family that continually reach out to check on me and send up prayers and good vibes for/to me. I’ve been very open to alternative therapies that may help. This doesn’t mean I’ve abandoned western medicine. I’m getting chemo for heaven’s sakes. I have been meditating, and have dabbled in Qigong or Tai Chi. I have a dear friend who is a reiki master and offered to work on my energy from afar. I gladly accepted. I think there is more we don’t know, than what we do know about our universe and I’m not going to discount an idea that has helped others offhand.

My girls are having an interesting summer. Normally we try to do all the summer things…the local amusement park, swimming, Saturday farmers’ markets, and exploring the great outdoors. I’m lucky my oldest girls are 18 years old. They can chauffeur my youngest. Mostly I am at home these days. The exhaustion is just overwhelming at times. Hopefully next summer will be different. I keep reminding myself this too shall pass. I’m not always going to feel sick and weak.