The author does not dip Copenhagen, but in fact has drains in her handy dandy mastectomy shirt’s inner pockets.

All I can think when looking at this picture is my 14 year old saying to me, “You’ve got a gyat!” Which means big butt in middle school slang which she reassures me is a good thing, but I don’t care either way.

It took me 24 years to grow my breasts and 4 hours to lose them. I remember after giving birth to Ava at the hospital no longer being able to fit into my bra and being very surprised. Through pregnancy and weight gain I had went from a D cup to a G cup and have remained that size for my adult life.

The day of surgery I felt much calmer and there were less residents/students involved due to being a holiday. I woke up in some pain and the nurse quickly gave me some pain meds in my IV. They did not wrap me at all and only put tape on my incisions so I looked down my hospital gown fairly quickly and assessed the situation. I’m not entirely flat because the plastic surgeon installed chest expanders or what I think of as my inflatables after my oncologist removed all my breast tissue. The plastic surgeon put in some air and will continue to “pump me up” over the upcoming weeks and months until I reach a size in my chest cavity that I aspire to. It’s weird being able to feel where the inflation port is under the skin. I get winded just thinking about it, remembering the years of blowing up pool dolphins and inner-tubes during the summer, the scent of sunscreen wafting in the air. I have no nipples of course. The area on my chest where they were is covered by tape. I have two drains, one on each side. I feel like an old pro when it comes to drain care thanks to my previous lumpectomy.

My girls showed up to the hospital with a box of Club crackers, Nilla Wafers, Charleston Chew Roller balls, Chocolate covered cinnamon bears and a 32 ounce diet coke with lime from Holiday Gas Station. Not exactly the protein heavy diet the surgeon suggested. They tell me that I kept “raising the roof” with my hands when New Years Eve was mentioned during their visit. I was feeling loopy, no doubt about it.

Recovery at home has been going well. I haven’t taken Tylenol or Ibuprofen for a couple of days now. I get some burning twinges in my chest muscles if I over reach. The nurse said I have to keep my arms at T-Rex level and not over reach. It’s a little difficult, but I’m trying to ask for help with things. I’m still waiting on pathology back from the doctor. Come on clear margins! My first doctor visit is Monday. I think that’s too soon for them to remove my drains but I’ll cross my fingers. Jeff and Ava were both sick with a cold going into this week and I had hoped I wouldn’t get it. It has stayed at bay until last night. Now I have a sore throat, but I’m just glad it didn’t effect surgery. Anyway, that’s all I have to say about that right now. Thanks for checking in.